1. “Hellraiser IX: Revelations” movie review

    Posted by
    /
    You know, having reached the final (and most reviled) entry within the Hellraiser franchise, I realize that I am holding my own metaphorical Lament Configuration. Except instead of a puzzle box, it's a DVD copy of “Hellraiser: Revelations”. Instead of opening it, I place it into my DVD player and instead of Pinhead and his cohorts appearing and ripping my flesh into pieces, I had to endure an awful movie. But much like Pinhead's victims, deep down I wanted “Hellraiser: Revelations”. I wanted to satisfy some sadomasochistic urges, or at least the film equivalent of sadomasochism. I knew this would suck, yet it was my discovery that this film existed which inspired me to do “Hellraiser Month”. Clearly, deep down, I enjoy the torments of bad movies.
  2. “Hellraiser VIII: Hellworld” movie review.

    Posted by
    /
    “Hellraiser: Hellworld” is awful. Not awful in an amusing way like “Hellraiser 3”, nor was it a (somewhat respectable) misfire like “Hellraiser 6”. It is just bad. Every idea it produces backfires, either being an awful concept to begin with or it's executed so poorly that they might as well have been lame ideas to begin with. I guess I have to respect that they tried to make it different than the previous films, but by different I mean they decided to make it like every other horror franchise that ever existed. It's like the filmmakers took a good look at the franchise and determined that the Hellraiser films had become too conventionally unconventional, so the only way to remain unconventional was by becoming conventional itself.....
  3. “Hellraiser VI: Hellseeker (2002)” movie review.

    Posted by
    /
    “Hellraiser 5: Inferno” had left fans either fuming or glowing, and I happened to be one of the latter. It made me feel everything it wanted me to feel, even if it was far from the conventional Hellraiser entry. It's even more shocking considering its bizarre back-story, that should spell out "epic failure". “Hellraiser 6: Hellseeker” had a similar back-story in that the studio took an acquired script that had nothing to do with the franchise and converted it into the next Hellraiser entry. You can see that the filmmakers tried to recapture that same surreal energy of its predecessor, but it fails. It fails badly.