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“The Accidental Spy (2001)” movie review.
Posted by MartialHorror May 22, 2013Now that I’ve viewed “The Accidental Spy” again, I’m pretty sure history will repeat itself. A few years from now, I’ll only remember my disappointment and those gay, Turkish Gangsters trying to get a peek at Jackie’s wang. Why? Because everything else in “The Accidental Spy” is just kind of dull… -
“Dragon (2011)” movie review.
Posted by MartialHorror May 17, 2013"Dragon" is the result of what happens if you blend kung fu, a character drama, a police procedural and acupuncture in a single bowl of awesomeness, and then serve it with fine wine and ice cream. The end result? I orgasm all over this meal, ruining it for everyone. Er, wait...Um, I'm going to move on now. -
“Outpost (2007)” movie review.
Posted by MartialHorror May 14, 2013Allegedly, we were supposed to see more of the Nazi-Ghosts, but the lack of money meant substandard make-up. So they wisely kept the villains in the shadows, which is always a better idea. Then when we do get a good, hard look at these monsters, the make-up can be a little more frightening. I suspect that if "Outpost" had more money to work with, it wouldn't have been as effective. -
“Dread (2009)” movie review.
Posted by MartialHorror May 10, 2013Much to my surprise, “Dread” was more about the victims themselves than it was about them being victimized. Believe it or not, that doesn't automatically cement "Dread" as a success, but you've got to respect the effort. -
“BloodRayne: The Third Reich (2010)” movie review.
Posted by MartialHorror May 8, 2013Where do I even begin with what “BloodRayne 3” does wrong? I mean, it’s hard to present an organized review when the subject in question does EVERYTHING badly. -
“Iron Man 3 (2013)” movie review.
Posted by MartialHorror May 5, 2013I'm not saying "Iron Man 3" isn't good, it's just that I expected more from it. -
Review Memoirs: “Cover Art Fail!”.
Posted by MartialHorror May 3, 2013MartialHorror discusses his review of "Cover Art Fail". -
“Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai (2011)” movie review.
Posted by MartialHorror April 30, 2013“Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai” is a very slow paced film, which isn’t a criticism as much as it’s a warning. But at least it was well made. There’s very little I can criticize about it objectively. However, I’ve come back to my original issue. Is it good because “Harakiri (1962)” was good? Or should it be derided because it coasts off the quality of “Harakiri (1962)”’? I almost want to say both. -
Critiquing the Critics: “Schmoes Know” review.
Posted by MartialHorror April 26, 2013Werewoman? There Woman! -
“Stag Night (2008)” movie review.
Posted by MartialHorror April 23, 2013“Stag Night” represents everything wrong with modern day horror. But do you know what’s even worse than being a shitty horror flick? It's being a shitty horror flick that has little-to-no excuse as to why it’s shitty.