1. “Shaolin (2011)” movie review.

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    "Shaolin" attempted to distract me from its familiarity by waving symbolic imagery in front of my face and saying a bunch of philosophical words, without ever engaging me in an actual conversation. The critic in me wishes to take its symbolism, shape it into a phallic object and shove it up the directors ass. Yet I can't bring myself to do that. While I think it failed in its attempts to be great, at least it provided a lot of action.