1. “Hellraiser IX: Revelations” movie review

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    You know, having reached the final (and most reviled) entry within the Hellraiser franchise, I realize that I am holding my own metaphorical Lament Configuration. Except instead of a puzzle box, it's a DVD copy of “Hellraiser: Revelations”. Instead of opening it, I place it into my DVD player and instead of Pinhead and his cohorts appearing and ripping my flesh into pieces, I had to endure an awful movie. But much like Pinhead's victims, deep down I wanted “Hellraiser: Revelations”. I wanted to satisfy some sadomasochistic urges, or at least the film equivalent of sadomasochism. I knew this would suck, yet it was my discovery that this film existed which inspired me to do “Hellraiser Month”. Clearly, deep down, I enjoy the torments of bad movies.