1. “Dragon (2011)” movie review.

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    "Dragon" is the result of what happens if you blend kung fu, a character drama, a police procedural and acupuncture in a single bowl of awesomeness, and then serve it with fine wine and ice cream. The end result? I orgasm all over this meal, ruining it for everyone. Er, wait...Um, I'm going to move on now.
  2. “Dread (2009)” movie review.

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    Much to my surprise, “Dread” was more about the victims themselves than it was about them being victimized. Believe it or not, that doesn't automatically cement "Dread" as a success, but you've got to respect the effort.
  3. “Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai (2011)” movie review.

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    “Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai” is a very slow paced film, which isn’t a criticism as much as it’s a warning. But at least it was well made. There’s very little I can criticize about it objectively. However, I’ve come back to my original issue. Is it good because “Harakiri (1962)” was good? Or should it be derided because it coasts off the quality of “Harakiri (1962)”’? I almost want to say both.
  4. “Shaolin (2011)” movie review.

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    "Shaolin" attempted to distract me from its familiarity by waving symbolic imagery in front of my face and saying a bunch of philosophical words, without ever engaging me in an actual conversation. The critic in me wishes to take its symbolism, shape it into a phallic object and shove it up the directors ass. Yet I can't bring myself to do that. While I think it failed in its attempts to be great, at least it provided a lot of action.
  5. “Sector 7 (2011)” movie review.

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    “Sector 7” answers the question of 'what if “The Host” sucked?'. It fails in all of its goals and was just kind of dull. It's a shame, because I do usually enjoy monster movies that take place in isolated locations.
  6. “Karate Girl (2011)” movie review.

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    But if "High Kick Girl" only existed to show how awesome Rina Takeda is, "Karate Girl" actually tried to expand its horizons and be a legitimate movie. Does it succeed? Spoiler alert, no. But I kind of liked the film anyway.