1. “Kunoichi: Ninja Girl (2011)” movie review.

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    It’s amusing how I began my journey with “Ninja Girl” expecting to judge it as a Rina Takeda ("High-Kick Girl") movie, but instead began to view it as a Seiji Chiba ("Alien Vs Ninja") flick, which just happened to star Rina Takeda. Maybe that’s for the better because as a Rina Takeda feature, I was disappointed. But as a Seiji Chiba feature...
  2. “Lake Placid (1999)” movie review.

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    Studios would cram obnoxious attempts at humor down our throats, would flaunt gratuitous and poorly rendered CGI and play it incredibly safe so that they would not offend its viewers by killing off a likable character. These films were often bad, but they’d poke fun at their own badness, which confused people into thinking ‘bad’ was suddenly ‘good’. It was a dark time for horror. It was…the 90’s *cue dramatic music*. Enter “Lake Placid”, a killer Crocodile flick that would represent everything I loathe about the dreaded decade.
  3. “Tucker & Dale vs Evil” movie review.

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    "Tucker and Dale Vs Evil" is surprisingly intelligent, using its unique concept masterfully. But instead of being a stuffy critic-catering piece, it opts to be entertainment incarnate...usually. Because while it's definitely good, it's also a lesson that one should not bite off what they can't chew...unless you're willing to spit it out and cut out a smaller portion...but I don't see how that fits this metaphor. Plus, that's pretty f@cking disgusting. Awful table manners...just awful...
  4. “Uninvited (1988)” movie review.

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    When I read the premise, I immediately became intrigued. A monster-kitty starts eating criminals on a yacht? Hell yeah! Of course, any film buff knows that the cooler the premise, the stupider the movie. Did "Uninvited" fall victim to this? Yes, but it's FREAKING AWESOME for it. Okay, maybe I'm getting a little too excited. It's not 'freaking awesome' as much as it's 'freaking tolerable' because of the badness.
  5. “The Accidental Spy (2001)” movie review.

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    Now that I’ve viewed “The Accidental Spy” again, I’m pretty sure history will repeat itself. A few years from now, I’ll only remember my disappointment and those gay, Turkish Gangsters trying to get a peek at Jackie’s wang. Why? Because everything else in “The Accidental Spy” is just kind of dull…