BitFister.com

  1.

    “Lights Out (2016)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / July 28, 2016
    If there was ever a horror movie that could be called the cinematic equivalent of fast food, "Lights Out" would be a fat, juicy cheeseburger. You savor every delicious morsel as you consume it, but afterwards you're self conscious about what you just allowed into your body.
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  2.

    “The Shallows (2016)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / July 2, 2016
    "The Shallows" seems to be an attempt to forge a marriage between critic friendly drama ("Open Water"?) and plebeian friendly entertainment ("Shark Night"?), although the relationship ends up being somewhat turbulent, if passionate.
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  5.

    “The Howling: Reborn (2011)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / April 14, 2016
    "The Howling Reborn"- which attempted to cash-in on the "Twilight" craze- tries to be for everyone and yet it ultimately ends up being for no one, except maybe those cinematic masochists who wish to endure the entirety of the Howling franchise...like me...and you know what? I'm not even sure if this is for us because "The Howling Reborn" isn't even bad enough to satisfy my self destructive cravings.
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  6.

    “Howling VII: New Moon Rising (1995)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / March 29, 2016
    Bad will always be bad, but "Howling: New Moon Rising" is a special kind of evil- one that represents everything I deplore about cheap sequels, from stock footage abuse to padding to terrible everything, causing the traumatic experiences of the Puppet Master franchise to resurface.
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  7.

    “Howling VI: The Freaks (1991)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / March 24, 2016
    "Howling VI: The Freaks" is technically the best of the Howling sequels, but it achieves this by being OK in every way, making the movie a little too average for my tastes. Considering it's about a werewolf and vampire dueling wits in a circus troupe, I should be squealing in joy instead of shrugging indifferently!
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  9.

    “Howling III: The Marsupials (1987)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / March 10, 2016
    On a technical level, "Howling 3" is a noticeable step up from its predecessor, even containing some legitimate good stuff. My problem is that even the filmmakers don't seem to know what kind of movie they wanted to make. A comedy? Horror? Arthouse? Romance? Environmentalist propaganda? Exploitation? It's too much of all of these genres to satisfy as any one of them!
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