BitFister.com

  1.

    “Ninja’s Creed (2009)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / December 30, 2012
    I've seen plenty of bad movies in my time. In fact, I like to describe myself as a cinemasochist. Yet nothing could prepare me for “Ninja's Creed”, a film so insanely bad that the mere thought of its existence sends a shiver down my spine.
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  2.

    “Don’t Answer The Phone! (1980)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / December 20, 2012
    “Don't Answer the Phone!” is a bad movie. It's a really bad movie, but it's almost enjoyable in the same way that “Blood Feast” and “Troll 2” are. You just can't help laughing at it and I suppose some entertainment value is better than a bore-fest. But children, remember that the key word is 'almost'.
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  3.

    “Sector 7 (2011)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / December 14, 2012
    “Sector 7” answers the question of 'what if “The Host” sucked?'. It fails in all of its goals and was just kind of dull. It's a shame, because I do usually enjoy monster movies that take place in isolated locations.
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  5.

    “Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / September 5, 2012
    What's so bizarre about “Death Bed”- besides the fact that it's about a killer bed- is it seems to think it's "art". One gets the impression that the director probably had aspirations to become the next Fellini, but the only work he could find was some grindhouse fodder about an evil bed.
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  7.

    “Dark Mirror (2007)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / July 24, 2012
    It's like the filmmakers got together and announced their ambitions as: “Let's make every haunted house movie ever made!”. So began long periods of research where they gathered all of the cliches together and created the monster known as “Dark Mirror”.
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  9.

    “Wicked Little Things (2006)” movie review.

    Posted by
    / June 22, 2012
    When a character touches a door and it ominously opens, what do they do? They trespass onto private property to investigate. Then when the home owner returns, he presumably decided to sneak up on the person as quietly as possible so when they turn around, they will walk right into a jump scare. What's funny is that the movie DOES THIS CLICHE TWICE! TWICE!
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