2011

“The Sorcerer and the White Snake (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ June 19, 2013

“The Sorcerer and the White Snake” is safe, fluffy, conventional and thoroughly forgettable. Although granted, the script practically drowns under the copious amount of (bad) CGI, so the brain-dead script is the least of this films problems.
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“Dragon (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ May 17, 2013

"Dragon" is the result of what happens if you blend kung fu, a character drama, a police procedural and acupuncture in a single bowl of awesomeness, and then serve it with fine wine and ice cream. The end result? I orgasm all over this meal, ruining it for everyone. Er, wait...Um, I'm going to move on now.
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“Dread (2009)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ May 10, 2013

Much to my surprise, “Dread” was more about the victims themselves than it was about them being victimized. Believe it or not, that doesn't automatically cement "Dread" as a success, but you've got to respect the effort.
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“Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ April 30, 2013

“Hara-Kiri: Death of a Samurai” is a very slow paced film, which isn’t a criticism as much as it’s a warning. But at least it was well made. There’s very little I can criticize about it objectively. However, I’ve come back to my original issue. Is it good because “Harakiri (1962)” was good? Or should it be derided because it coasts off the quality of “Harakiri (1962)”’? I almost want to say both.
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“Shaolin (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ April 21, 2013

"Shaolin" attempted to distract me from its familiarity by waving symbolic imagery in front of my face and saying a bunch of philosophical words, without ever engaging me in an actual conversation. The critic in me wishes to take its symbolism, shape it into a phallic object and shove it up the directors ass. Yet I can't bring myself to do that. While I think it failed in its attempts to be great, at least it provided a lot of action.
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“The Malay Chronicles: Bloodlines (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ January 25, 2013

I am currently on my knees, hands clasped, giving you the best puppy dog eyes I can muster. You see, I enjoyed "The Malay Chronicles: Bloodlines". One might ask: "So what?". Well, I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the entire world who actually appreciates this movie.
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“Sector 7 (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ December 14, 2012

“Sector 7” answers the question of 'what if “The Host” sucked?'. It fails in all of its goals and was just kind of dull. It's a shame, because I do usually enjoy monster movies that take place in isolated locations.
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“Never Back Down 2: The Beatdown (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ October 12, 2012

"Never Back Down 2" is a hard film to summarize because calling it a success would be too generous, while damning it as a failure would be too harsh.
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“Ironclad (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ September 2, 2012

How in the hell does "Robin Hood (2010)" look so bland with a budget of $100,000,000, yet "Ironclad" looks four times as lavish despite having a quarter of the funds?
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“Karate Girl (2011)” movie review.

Posted by MartialHorror
/ June 26, 2012

But if "High Kick Girl" only existed to show how awesome Rina Takeda is, "Karate Girl" actually tried to expand its horizons and be a legitimate movie. Does it succeed? Spoiler alert, no. But I kind of liked the film anyway.
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