MartialHorror rants about "Rings (2017)"...Can't I just retire in peace?
MartialHorror discusses what he considers to be the worst films of 2016!
I was originally going to write a foreword about how 2016 was a terrible year, but I am already sick of hearing that, so I’m going to embrace a different perspective. 2016 was an…interesting…learning experience. On a personal level- the year drew attention to my strengths, weaknesses, potential, limitations and unhealthy obsession with the “Carnosaur” trilogy. Yes, I felt the collective dread when a clown masquerading as a Politician somehow became the President-elect of the United States. But I’ve now learned the importance of understanding the political landscape, so we can hopefully avoid these kinds of mistakes in the future. Yet I have also come to the realization that it’s just as important to understand those you don’t agree with, as hostile generalizations will only drive us further apart. I’ve even learned that the mental image of a shirtless Putin bending Trump over his Oval Office Desk is very contagious and this sentence may cause an epidemic. But on a more bittersweet note, 2016 taught me it was time to move on… From reviewing… I know, I know, this is obviously the most devastating news of 2016, but hear me out. I’ve been critiquing movies since 2007, with “Rush Hour 3” being my first (posted) review. I chose to adopt a video format for some of my works in 2009 and my original intention had been to lampoon bad movies- because that was a totally original concept that hadn’t been done by the entire internet…I eventually broadened my horizons with...
"Holidays" teaches us how difficult it is to make a successful anthology, for even though it boasts a decent collection of talented filmmakers, none of them really seem to know how these kinds of movies work...or how short films work...or even how the horror genre works...
"Rise of the Legend" asks the question of 'Can sheer entertainment value overcome any obstacle?'. There are so many problems with this movie and I still had a lot of fun with it, so...yes...it can...and in hindsight, that is a pretty stupid question considering that cinema mostly exists for our entertainment.
"Tremors 5" is actually a decent sequel, which might sound like an impossible sentence to form after you discover that Jamie Kennedy and the guy who directed "Lake Placid: The Final Chapter", "Who's Your Caddy?", "Kindergarten Cop 2", "Sniper: Legacy", "Sniper: Ghost Shooter", "Jarhead 2: They'll Make A Sequel Out Of Anything" are both involved, yet it is.
"Tremors 4: The Legend Begins" is...OK, at least in parts. When I rented it in 2004, I was underwhelmed, but I think it has gotten a little better with age.
"Kill Zone 2" is definitely a sequel to "Kill Zone", sharing similar strengths and weaknesses.
"Tremors 3: Back to Perfection" is not very good, but at least the cast seems to be having fun and I do believe the filmmakers tried their best with very little to work with.
"Never Back Down: No Surrender" finally puts the spotlight on Case Walker, giving us the protagonist we've always deserved in a movie that doesn't really deserve him as the protagonist.